Vigils and sunshine palettes.

Click if you’d rather listen!

Zeroing in on the water through the kettle’s see-thru plastic strip doesn’t do a thing to hurry along the process and make that water boil.

Clickety-clack goes the sound of high heels on concrete floor. Company. Sure enough, a woman arrives and plops her lunch sack on the counter. Her straight shoulder-length hair is the colour of corn silk, the sort of hair I’d once coveted.

“Hey Karalee,” says the woman.

“Hi,” I say, scouring my memory vault for her name.

“Did you put the kettle on to boil?”

I do the polite bit and nod.

“Would you mind if I put more water in for my coffee?”

“Not at all,” I say, grabbing the kettle before she can and top it off under the tap.

After setting it back on its base, I lean against the wall separating kitchen space from office cubicles and try not to watch her unpack her lunch. Course that’s impossible being the alternative is boiling water vigil.

Out comes a freezer bag of home-made granola, glass container filled with blueberries, and a bag of coffee grounds. She empties the yogurt and fruit into a bowl, dumps the grounds into a paper filter, and plops the cone into a pour-over funnel sitting atop her mug. Her economy of movement says she’s done this a hundreds of times before.

“How you finding it here?” she asks over her shoulder.

“Awkward new job jitters,” I answer, as the flurry of boiling bubbles clicks off the kettle.

“Go ahead and have first go at the water,” I urge.

She does, though filling my cup first as any good East Coaster would do, before pouring a steaming stream of hot water into her loaded filter, unleashing he smell of coffee wafts into the stale office air. I pick up my mug of Rooibos tea and head back to my office, quintessential work cliché leaving mouth on cue.

“Have a great Monday.”

The rituals of work. Ach, how I’ve missed them.

It’s been fifteen months two weeks, four days and ten hours since I had somewhere to go Monday to Friday and practically forever since I’ve had a bona fide regular weekly paycheque.

But who’s counting?


There’s no manual on the brass tacks of a start over life. It’s a learn as you go roller coaster survival ride by wit and chutzpa, complicated by the ‘what you don’t know until you know’ conundrum of a new place.

Think piecing together a puzzle without a picture.

Granted, I’ve blustered my way to some success. Project Friend has been fruitful beyond my wildest imaginings. But finding work, well, through the last year and a half, that’s proved be an utterly baffling undertaking. A full blown paradox.

By January of this year, I’d figure it out. I’m a mainlander, better known as Come from Away. Roots here mean a lot. In fact, they mean everything. Missing the backwards stretch of family and belongingness in Nova Scotia and the East Coast meant missing the behind the scenes web that grants full access.

It was a vexing realization I could do little about it. There was no way to retrofit my ancestry hundreds years back in this province. But maybe there might be a workaround.

By March and still without work , I realized if I can’t beat ‘em or join ‘em, maybe it’s time to wave the white flag.

And so I decided to make plans to return the land of milk, honey and jobs. Ontario.


When it rains, it tsunamis in Nova Scotia.

It’s a fifteen-minute walk to work, and even with knee-high rubber boots and a rain slicker long enough to almost cover the top of said boots, I get drenched.

The water comes in angles, the spot at the bottom of my slicker just below where the zipper ends and boots begins a target for sideways rain. while drops are a barrage at the top of my umbrella that gather into a sheet that pours down into my boots from behind.

I pull the umbrella close to my body, hanging on to it with one hand for dear life cuz I know what comes next. Right on cue, a blow-your-house-down gust rips the umbrella inside out. Turning round, I hold the skeleton against the wind and the fabric peels back, right side out again.  Rinse and repeat all the way to work.

Eventually, I may figure it out and put away the ironic umbrella. Forever. I might learn no matter about getting wet cuz I’ll dry out soon enough. And besides, big fat puddles are super fun to tromp through in rubber boots.

The day might even come that I start to look forward to rain.


The problem with returning to Ontario was that I wanted to take the whole beautiful mess of my East Coast life, and all I’d learned, along with my new friends, the sea and the whacko weather back with me to Ontario. And of course, that was impossible.

I told a few of my Nova Scotia friends, some of my friends in Ontario and my family the BIG news—the end of the East Coast adventure had arrived. The ones who knew me best rallied around with encouraging words.

“You’re doing all the right things. Hang on long enough and something is gonna come around. It has to.”

Easy for them to say. None of the rules I’d learned in Ontario applied here. The nitty-gritty of gainful employment required a grueling amplification of work-arounds by a factor of exponential to overcome the Come from Away factor, give or take a fairy dusting of blind luck.

I was plain tuckered out. Drained by the work vigil. Hope decimated. I’d no time left for waiting. I was done.

The thing is, though, you want to go somewhere else because you want to go somewhere, not because you have no choice.


“My name is Tubby,” he says as he reaches out and swallows my right hand in his man-mitt. “Sorry, I mean Andy… mum called me Tubby way back when, and it stuck.”

A bear of a man, his hand so huge it swallows mine up within it. He hangs on to it an extra beat or two, til I start to wonder if I’ll ever get it back again. He’s about six feet tall and almost the same across his wide shoulders—shoulders I can’t fail to notice are covered in rippling man-muscles.

Me—I’m covered in mulch from the 28 bags I’d dumped in my garden. Wearing weekend grubbies, hair dragged into a dirty topknot, yesterday’s smudgy mascara making the dark circles under my eyes even darker, I’m weekend DIY disaster.

“Nice little yard,” he says, “you’ve been working on it, haven’t you? So, show me the branches you want taken down.”

I’d only called yesterday to have the canopy lifted on the maple tree hanging over my back yard, keeping the space in perennial shadow. Wonder of wonders, he was here today, just like he said he’d be, on a gloriously sunny and warm Sunday afternoon.

We work companionably in the yard. I fight to rip out the decades old English Ivy that’s been eating my garage from the outside in, while he loops himself up and into the tree with a boatload of climbing gear–carabiners, click saddle, helmet, rope, rigging hub and, coolest of all, a couple of pole saw blades he’s strapped to his calves.

By the time he’s done pruning limbs, it’s almost dusk. And although I’ve won the battle with the English Ivy, my lawn looks like scrambled eggs for it. The roots had twisted and twined beneath the grass, and I’d wrestled with sections as fat as my arms that had snaked through the lawn, reaching for greener pastures other than my rickety old garage. I expect my body to soon be aching in places that will be terribly uncomfortable.

“I’ll take that away for you,” he says, flicking his chin at ivy detritus I’d piled in the middle of the lawn.

Weekends. They sure feel different with that Monday to Friday drill in between.


Monday morning, my body is indeed sore, and I head out the back door for work. With the canopy raised, even with a munched up lawn, it’s a fresh sunshine yellow palette.

The week begins with a morning chat at Dilly Dally café, where I often pick up a muffin on the way to work. Tuesday brings a handshake and pleasant chat with a bona fide prince, and the week finishes on Friday with round-up with girlfriends at the ChainYard cidery on Agricola, a short walk from my house.

Saturday evening, I’m at a teeny intimate house concert, humming along to Steve Poltz singing “You were meant for me,”  a song he wrote with Jewel. Between sets, I end up having an intense, one-on-one chit-chat with him, mostly about my hair.

Later, on the drive home along the Bedford Highway, I get to watch the sea. It’s one of those deep dark nights when it looks like someone punched a fork through the sky, starlight streaming in through the holes.

Sunday morning, as I’m walking through The Commons, just about to begin my morning run, a woman walking the path starts a chit-chat.

“I’m Alexa,” she says. “I really like people, and I’m on my way to play at church. You should come by… I play My Father’s Moustache too… washboards.”

And that is when I remember how everything that goes around seems to come around, sooner or later. In fact, I’d seen Alexa play at Your Father’s Moustache about two years ago, and I’d written about her in a blog post. When I get home, I re-read the post and realize everything I’d said about that life in Halifax is still my truth.


Postscript: After taking my eyes off the work vigil and opening myself up to whatever the Goddess had in store next, if even a move back to Ontario, in poured more work in Halifax than I knew what to do with, except I knew what to do with it. I said yes to a mishmash conglomeration of enough ‘this, that and t’ others’ to keep me going for the time being because here in the East Coast—that’s just what you do.

Oh ya, and forever note to self—a watched kettle never boils.


PS Link to the post with Alexa. Musings on Magic

PPS Link if you’d like to check out one of my gigs… writing for Nova Scotia paper, The Chronicle Herald, including weekly column.  Karalee’s writing stuff and such

Photo and Video Gallery.

Me and the Prince.png
Me and Prince Albert II





Alexa and me.




One thought on “Vigils and sunshine palettes.

  1. Hi Karalee,

    So you’re working at the Herald? Will this cause you to amend your email address? I am so happy for you – and for Halifax – if your writing can reach a wide ranging audience. I hope they give you an entertainment type, general column where you can use your full skill in reflecting all of us!

    Thank you for sending your new post. I am glad you have shoe- horned your way into this tight community (of which I am a satellite) and have many friends. I have an idea where you’re coming from. I spent 7 months trying to find a job after spending 18 months qualifying as a lawyer in Ontario in hopes it would help me find a job here. In the end I did get a job. I met this sort of jerk-lawyer type playing frizbee in the boulevard in front of Dal, and it turned out his firm was looking for a new lawyer – that’s how I got a job – running into this jerk a few years’ junior to me for whom I had no respect. I did respect many of the lawyers in the firm, and all in all, it was a good experience – especially as I never had an office anywhere near the jerk.

    We will have to chat another time!



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